Last month, Hasbro Inc. announced that its Mr. Potato Head product would hereafter be gender neutral. The toy, which consists of a plastic potato that serves as both a head and body, comes with body parts and accessories. The manufacturer’s statement included the desire that kids “be their authentic selves outside of the pressure of traditional gender norms.”
The cascading response from the public was the marketing equivalent of setting fire to a puddle of gasoline. The most vocal retorts were not just negative, but surgically eviscerating, claiming that the product’s marketers are guilty of “cancel culture” and expressing outrage that a bastion of childhood toy had been transformed into a tool of political correctness. Hasbro reversed its decision and declared that both Mr. Potato Head and Mrs. Potato Head would remain. This fall, it will produce a Potato Head family line with diverse accessories.
Years ago, we had two Mr. Potato Heads living at our house. My kids identified them in a gender-neutral fashion due to lingual limitations as opposed to parental progressiveness. “Tata Heads” were initially intriguing playthings, but my boys soon tired of assembling them in a fashion that replicated human anatomy; it was more fun to stick hands into their heads and put hats into the holes where the ears should go. I convinced myself that this was a sign of creativity not psychological disturbance.
I had the temerity to ask a Facebook friend why he posted that our country had “gone off the deep end into the stupid pool.” I wondered if he felt educated about gender fluidity or had spoken to a parent with a transgender child. The responses from his friends to my queries were fierce. I was accused of lacking patriotism, of trolling, of supporting child mutilation, and for reasons that I do not grasp, of staying at Holiday Inn Express when I traveled. The commentators opined sadly about the younger “lost” generation, how non-binary individuals are sinners under religious doctrine, and how our country’s cultural values were being annihilated by progressive liberals. The most vocal protestors disclaimed any anger, frustration, or fear in connection with their reactions, and yet their energy had a visceral quality to it.
I am much more interested in people’s backlashes than I am about the reasons for the manufacturer’s decision. In times of peril, uncertainty, and national discord, traditional values are comforting; challenges to those notions are disquieting. As parents, we quietly hope our children will grow up healthy and strong, that they will find challenging and engaging careers, and that as adults they will couple up – preferably in a heterosexual way with gender binary partners. We covet these things not just because it paves an easier social and economic path for our kids – we want them because it aligns with our society’s expectations, and that makes it easier for us. Having a family that fits within accepted social norms grants us cultural currency.
I believe today’s parents are wiser than we were twenty years ago. Many take their child to the toy store doll aisle and do not panic if he wants a Barbie doll. They deliberately purchase baby clothes that are not pink or blue, and they smile when their daughters step into daddy’s work boots and strap on his tool belt. They know that buying their son an Easy-Bake oven will not change his gender identification or his sexual orientation, but it just might improve the quality of family dinners once he is old enough to cook.
One of my high school friends lamented on social media that both the far political left and the extreme right dominated public discourse, leaving those in the middle without a voice. My response to her is that children and adults who do not singularly identify with either male or female are in the middle of a complicated and misunderstood gender spectrum. They probably feel left out and need to be heard, as well. If having genderless toys validates and supports them, I am all for it.