The Habit of Happiness

            It’s Sunday morning, and I’m just so happy.  I haven’t won the lottery, and I’m never content with my personal financial balance sheet. I have not eliminated work stress, and there are piles of impatient client files around me.  The world feels increasingly chaotic, angry, and dangerous.  And yet, I feel content and gratified.

             I’ve felt happy for a long time.  I remember the moment when I acknowledged that optimism was central to my personality.  It was about 15 years ago, and I had to develop a security phrase for a financial website.  The phrase I immediately came up with was, “the sun is shining.”  But it was not a sunny day; it was cloudy.  I had a moment of clarity when I realized that the sunshine was coming from within.

             It hasn’t always been that way.  I endured adolescent angst and young-adult full-blown depression.  My 30’s were full of incessant demands and an over-arching belief that I wasn’t good enough at anything.  Raising rambunctious boys, maintaining a household, volunteering, and climbing the professional lawyer ladder obviated the ability to reflect on whether I was happy.  Joyful moments abounded, for sure, but the busyness of my life eclipsed my capacity to reflect on it.

             That changed when I started exercising regularly.  Not only did exercise elevate my mood and stimulate feel-good endorphins, it mandated that I break away from the perpetual agenda of things I thought I wasn’t doing well enough.  Physical activity proved to be the ultimate form of self-care.  Pounding footsteps abolished uncertainty, deep breathing eliminated anxiety, and a heightened awareness of the outdoors fomented a belief that I was strong and capable.  Forgiveness for my perceived inadequacies was always just a sweaty half-hour away.

             I often tout the virtue of a daily exercise habit as it eliminates workout planning and internal cajoling and shaming.  But today I’m wondering if happiness isn’t a habit as well.  I believe that comforting routines combine to create contentment:  waking up, petting an enthusiastic pup, hugging my patient husband, working out, enjoying a hot shower, and eating a delicious but healthy breakfast.  The happiness formula is simple but reliable.  Who needs anything else? 

             Now, if I could just accumulate a fortune, ditch unrealistic clients, and solve the dog hair problem in my car, I would be euphoric, not merely happy!